Of Mice and Mars

Last week, a fellow English teacher mentioned that scientists were close to confirming the presence of water on Mars and he followed it up with, “where there is water, there is life.” It was a simple statement, and I've now confirmed that he’s right, at least about the latter.

I moved into my new place three weeks ago. Despite all my pets, I dig it a lot. The neighbors are cool, the air conditioner works, it's quiet at night, and everything I need is within walking distance. However, here are a few key differences between how you and I are living:
Your landlord speaks English.
You don’t need to leave your apartment to go to the bathroom.
Your stove, washing machine, toilet, bathroom sink, shower, and kitchen sink are not within inches of each other (bathroom + kitchen = bathchen). Mine are.
You don’t have a pole that extends from your bedroom window so you can dry clothes. I do.
Your washing machine doesn’t leak. And it is this last point that makes all the difference.

A day or two after moving in, I did my first load of laundry. I noticed the following day that there was a small trickle leading from the washer to the shower drain and thought nothing of it. I knew there would be grit and wrinkles in the new place. I mean, what do you expect for $220 a month?

But shortly after the leak discovery, other signs of life started popping up – ants, roaches, and mice – around the bathchen. The following day, I discovered mosquito bites on my left arm. Good times. Today, I went to the supermarket and bought factory-strength Raid. In addition to removing the first layer of paint on the counter, this stuff eradicated all bugs this side of the Yangtze.

Now, I just need to figure out what to do about the mice.